i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
