hotel room ftw
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
