$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
