ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
