a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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