oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
