let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
