I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize