At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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