just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize