i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
