my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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