I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
