you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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