i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
