I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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