i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
