So drunk its hurt
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
