Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
