If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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