it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
