Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
