If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
