All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
