hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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