you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
