Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
