hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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