Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
