"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
