mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
