I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize