need another drink. this is the easiest way
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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