You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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