Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
