I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
