Are we in a gay sports bar?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize