She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize