I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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