Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
