From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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