Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
