Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Farmville is her only friend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize