Define "chronic" masturbator.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
