I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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