I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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