does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
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Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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