My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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