I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize