but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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