he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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