Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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