I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's always time for handjobs
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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