Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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