Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
